Binding and a hernia

So I’ve found out I have a hiatus hernia. I don’t know how long I’ve had it but I have certainly had trouble with my stomach for a number of years, and I have been binding for a number of years now too. It was largely on and off previously but my binding has increased … Continue reading

No write November

Life has dropped in and taken over like an unwanted relative. My mother has a number of serious cancers back, or for the first time. I’m not sure myself, she treats it like a secret to arm herself with. No one must know about her precious. No details but look at the precious, look how … Continue reading

Freaking out

I feel like an outcast, standing In my suit at work. Overdressed. Sticking out putting this face on; confident when I feel anything but. I feel like a freak in Starbucks despite their surprised smiles and politeness. I know these are my projections. I suppose it’s habit. Survival. To have these thoughts and fear the … Continue reading

Long time no answers

So I am still in therapy. I suspect this is something which I won’t stop writing for a long time. I get the impression there IS no end to therapy. Just as I think I am finding something to talk about which actually might be the cause of something I just seem to bring up … Continue reading

Anxiety

I think I am literally worrying myself sick. I’ve never experienced it this vividly before but it is getting harder to go to work. I get very anxious before work. I’m anxious now. I don’t know how much if it is the therapy stirring up the silted memories and pain of before but I’m definitely … Continue reading

How long has this been going on for?

Good question! One I can’t answer off the top of my head. I did think it was confusing when I watched transition videos and people said they’d been on T for a year or two… It didn’t click. I thought I’d just watched some old videos after joining them recently. So my therapist asked how … Continue reading

Apologies for the delay in your service

Sorry to for somewhat lengthy time out. To catch up, I’m selling my house, getting married and currently in therapy. So that’s us caught up. I have only had two therapy sessions so far (psychotherapy- outlet for psychos). At this point I am suspecting that they are using Jedi mind tricks or aromatherapy or something … Continue reading

Drunk

The more drunk I get, the harder it is for me to keep my cock in my pants. Largely because when I go to the toilet and pull my trousers down, my packer falls onto the floor. Oh. #butchproblems